No Worries If Not: A Funny(ish) Story of Growing Up Working Class and Queer

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It comes as she has the realisation that she was that much of a serial apologist, she’d literally said sorry for a being a woman. As a self-aware people-pleaser myself, I enjoyed following Charlotte's journey to finding a better balance, with lots of laughs along the way. By pretending the stakes are lower than they are, we inoculate ourselves against the embarrassment of having needs, or appearing to care if we’re rejected. She recounts her life from childhood, to teens, into adulthood through a mixture of short stories, spoken word, illustrations, and space for the reader to reflect (or draw tits… whatever you prefer). I’m setting it up pre-emptively, both so that they can reject me and not feel bad, and I can feel like I am less keen.

I crossed someone’s path in the supermarket, even though they and their trolley were blocking the entire aisle so they could peruse the shelf in front of them from the opposite side of the aisle (why do that). Charlotte the MC through a clever and humorous narrative navigates how it feels to live in a patriarchal society as a woman. This is laugh out loud funny, feel good and makes you think about all those times you apologised for no good reason. Reading it, I was surprised the terms “asker” and “guesser” weren’t more widely known or used today, seeing as social nomenclature has hit peak interest.This loophole works fine enough until the question isn’t actually low-stakes—try to avert risk then and you just sound ridiculous, stumbling through so many qualifiers your needs are doubly obscured, sometimes even to yourself. I don't think earnestness generally actually maps onto good-old Ask/Guess culture in a direct way,” she wrote, “but to an extent with my specific friends, earnestness and ask-ness seem to have some overlap.

Like “no pressure,” or “I’m fine either way,” the phrase is an indirect attempt to harness the freedom of Ask culture. Sketch show featuring the biggest stars of Irish online comedy, Sean Burke, Michael Fry, Justine Stafford, Emma Doran and Killian Sundermann, with supersized versions of some of their classic bits. Big thanks to Theresa from Mermaids UK, Fiona Clark from Show Racism the Red Card and Kay and Danny. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. Well, putting your hands up and accepting the fact that you use these kinds of statements is a good place to start.Sometimes to ensure we give people an opt out, to avoid feeling like we are making unwelcome demands, and out of worry that our needs may be a burden on those we make requests of. Start small by trying to delete the phrase from a few messages each day and then wean yourself off your confidence crutch gradually. While men aren’t immune from the “no worries” epidemic – Love Island’s Hugo used it in an awkward exchange with Chloe, it’s been widely noted that the phrase is most commonly used by women. A nostalgic trip down memory lane for me with the music of the year, but this is so much more than that. Nebol to prevratný román, ktorý by som nevedela pustiť z rúk a nikdy naň nezabudnem, ale páčilo sa mi to.

That very important thing won’t get done on time, your anxiety will only get worse and, depending on how understanding your employer is, you may get in trouble. The sales pitch for Guess culture is that it’s more conscientious and considerate, but isn’t it equally true that by padding everything with caveats and easy outs, we assume people aren’t capable of asking or answering a yes or no question, of handling or expressing the truth? But this experience has also taught me to try harder not to apologise; to remember that I have worth and I have experience that people need. It's not the type of book I usually reach for but as a people pleaser at heart, I couldn't help but pick up a book titled with a phrase I catch myself saying far too often.

Charlotte apologies for everything, caveats every request with a ‘no worries if not’ and finds herself in situations she really doesn’t want to be in because she’s too busy putting other people’s feelings before her own. Soph’s book is a perfect formula of giggles, queerness, loss, tears, musical interludes (although admittedly, they get worse and worse as the years pass - not her fault though), ICONIC tv references and laugh-out-loud anecdotes - all alongside always giving space to process heavy feelings.

this book beautifully explores the more subtle parts of being a woman conditioned to live in a misogynistic world and does it with grace, flair and a lot of heart! Ogunlesi notes that this impulse can be particularly strong for women, as outdated gender roles have dictated that women must serve and care for others, but everyone can fall victim to this way of thinking. If originally the expression was used to clarify the stakes of a question, now it’s used to manipulate them. The narration was personal and easy, with a steady pace and some deeply insightful diarised sections that go back to show us seemingly normal snapshot moments of the past, but fit together to show all these little moments that affect and change a person. However, when Galustian begins to talk about grief, No Worries If Not is incredibly moving and real.As a particularly seasoned apologiser, I already know I use this phrase as a cheery way to cloak my insecurity and fears that the person receiving the message will have no interest. There’s not a single person who shouldn’t read this book - I promise there’s something in there for everyone.